Here’s what Olympic Gold Medalist Greg Rutherford said after his Hypnobirthing Course: “Now I feel ready. Now I feel like a superhuman midwife man hero. I am here!”
Right, got your attention?
I’ll be completely honest – many partners (not all, but about 90%), dads in particular, come along to my courses because their pregnant partners want to do it and have insisted they join them!
So often I hear Dads say “I guess I’m just there to hold her hand and do whatever she wants” or “ well, let’s be honest, there’s not really much I can do.” ……. I was going to write ‘what a load of codswallop!’ – but, actually, why wouldn’t they think that?
Worth noting that, for most, their only experience of birth is what they’ve seen in films or on TV where often dads are portrayed at best as helpless bystanders and at worst hapless idiots.
As someone who has attended many births and also facilitated antenatal education for loads of couples, would you please, please take it from me that this really is codswallop?!
I absolutely promise you that, in reality, partners play a critical role in supporting mothers during pregnancy, birth and the transition to parenthood.
You’re the one she’ll want support from the most – you know her better than anyone, you love her, she loves you, you both love the baby she’s bringing into the world – no one else can compete with all that LOVE!……. without any antenatal preparation you’re already equipped with oodles of one of the most vital components required for labour to progress well – you’re a like an Oxytocin Generator! (If you’re wondering ‘Oxy-what?’ Oxytocin is the hormone that causes contractions and it’s also the hormone of love – in any facet of love, oxytocin is present.)
However, I ‘get’ that the responsibility might feel a bit scary: If you and your partner decided to visit an obscure destination somewhere in the world for the first time and you were expected to be the sole tour guide having just read a book about the place, you’d probably feel the same way…….. you may have never been to ‘Labour Land’ either, and if you’re planning on going, wouldn’t it be great to be bursting with knowledge, feeling empowered, really confident and with a ‘toolbox’ of skills to take with you? ………… of course it would!
SO much better than feeling like a spare part, right? Right!
But you don’t just have to take my word for it, here’s what two actual dads wrote to me by email, completely unprompted and with no money exchanging hands or anything:
“For any father/partner who is sceptical about the whole process i would recommend at least giving it a go, take in what you can it will all become apparent during birth and will benefit all of you involved. It was one of the most magical things I’ve ever been involved with and the fact Rosie was so calm during it made it that much more special.”
“I found it a rewarding ‘pre-birth’ experience, that I would whole heatedly recommend to other expectant parents as essential.”
“All of your help has been invaluable, and I definitely feel a lot more prepared and not as anxious as I did when we first walked in on Saturday.”
It really is a no-brainer!